I am LIGHT I am FIT

Updated: 2 days ago

That's my mantra for when I go jogging. I dont say running as I never run fast enough to call it running. The only time I ever ran was with my brother in law, then I nearly collapsed after 10 minutes and had to walk for a bit. My youngest is 8 years old now, I was out for a walk with her one morning when she was a baby and it started raining so I started jogging pushing the buggy home. That was the start of it for me. I became addicted.

I wasn't a runner as a child but I loved sports. My Auntie was an athletics coach with a very talented running daughter. They would attend all the cross country events over the summer when they visited Clare on holidays, I got dragged along to them. I didn't mind going as I loved to hang out with my Auntie and my cousin plus I loved to be off galavanting. But I did hate the running and I always came last. In school, I always came 2nd in the school sprints as my best friend always won, so the day she wasn't there I would get 1st place, that probably happened once in my school running career! As a child I have to say I always preferred a sprint over a long distance.

So 8 years going on 9 years of running you would think I am light and fit. But I am not, I about 4 stone overweight, heading into my forties struggling every day with being fat. I am the biggest I have ever been and I go walking/running 4 times a week and swim every day. I am trying this intermittent diet the past 2 weeks, it's not going great as I am fond of wine. A friend said last night she would have a beer instead of wine as she is having a bad relationship with wine at the moment, I would love a bad relationship with wine. I drink twice a week, on a wednesday night when our art class meet online, this helps me be more artistic creative. Well that's my excuse. Then on a Friday or Saturday night, actually some weekends it's both nights. Does that mean I have a wine problem? Maybe I do, then I think I should stop drinking wine and drink something else, but then I think, fuck it, life is too short for that crap.

So you would think I have made progress with running around North Clare in the wild mountains of the Burren, nope I am still as slow as I always have been. To be honest I am worse now than I was when I first started jogging. Maybe a lack of motivation and I am not pushing myself as much. I have done a fair few 10k's, about 5 half marathons and 1 full marathon. There was a stage in my late 30's I really was doing well but didn't realise how well I was doing until I look back at it now. I am now walking/jogging again. I am trying out my mantra - I am light, I am fit and it nearly makes me laugh saying it in my head as I know I am so unfit and definitely not light! Think it's time for a new mantra. I tried using the one from that book "Run fat bitch Run", but it didn't feel very positive. I like my mantra to be inspirational, to make me feel good, I know I am fat bitch, I don't need to keep telling myself that I am one as I try to jog up a really steep hill.

You might wonder why the hell I keep jogging. Well it's for my head. I love listening to the thoughts going around in my head. Its where I come up with my creative ideas as I am jogging along the gravel road. It is a time when I can forget about all my problems. I can just be inside my head. My favourite part of my jog, is when the legs stop aching, when the breathing relaxes so much that I don't actually think about my breathing any more. When it is just me and my thoughts, taking in my surroundings, the fresh air, the quietness and my dog Muffin panting along beside me. Its bliss. Just thinking about it makes me want to go out! Plus I don't have anything to get ready to go for a jog, l don't have to travel anywhere, I can just put on my runners and go, no checking tyres or bike chains or brakes. It's easy.

I enjoy jogging on my own but sometimes my friend comes with me. We are very competitive and it took us a long time for us to admit when we needed to stop, it became so much pressure that we kinda stopped jogging together until we made a pack that if either of us wanted to continue to jog when the other stopped that would be ok. But then life got in the way and we didn't get to meet up as much anymore. So when we do manage to meet up nowadays we stick together as it is definitely more of a social catch up. Plus back then we were both playing football way above our level with the local Junior team and we took our fitness deadly serious like we took our football!

Well I probably will keep going with my sluggish jog for as long as my body will hold out, I may continue to battle my stupid fat body but I will not let it keep me down. Plus I think I will say a thank you to my stupid fat body for continuing to give me wonderful jogging moments.

Thank you.



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