Antidepressants and Weight

I was so excited when the post van pulled up the drive today. I have been waiting on an order from Decathlon with a new pair of swim togs that I had contemplated buying for several months then decided to give them a go as a treat before Christmas. I also bought myself some running leggings, socks and running top. Everything I have has holes in them at this stage! Probably due to the fact that I have gone up 2 sizes in clothes since I first bought them years ago. Well I was digging out the garden and had to change tops afterwards as I sweat after any physical activity. Is that a middle age thing I wonder? So I said I would try on the togs since I was changing, well they barely went up my legs. My stomach instantly felt sick and I had to hold back the tears. Of course the first thought is I will have to start starving myself, then thats not very practical. I will have to make myself sick after I eat but that's not a good example for my girls. I feel at a loss. I walk/jog probably 4 to 5 times a week and I nearly swim every day. I have started a diet that I eat only between 12pm and 6pm. I eat healthy food. I lost a half a stone before Christmas but just by looking at food and alcohol I put it back on again in a matter of days. I have been on anti depressants for years. I know they are what caused me to put on the weight. I got so fed up with the weight previously I went I off the tablets. I was ok for a while, but still found it hard to loose the weight. Then I started feeling down again, my periods play havoc with my moods, and for about 3 weeks out of the month I would be miserable. For some reason the anti depressants really help with that and I wouldn't even know when my periods would be due. So I went back on them again for the sake of my head, the kids and my husband. I tried different ones this time and I haven't put on any more weight but I can't loose it. So even though the tablets have balanced out my hormones and I don't suffer terrible mood swings, I have this constant misery of being overweight and not looking good any more. I am trying so hard to be proud of my body and what it does for me every day, but its hard when you look at a photo and see these zumo thighs, you just want to cry. So a new year is coming, and I don't know how to battle it. Any suggestions would be great! The one thing I know is I will keep swimming as in the water I don't think about my body or my mind, I am just immersed in the moment, focused on the beauty and colour encloses me. I will keep jogging so I can keep my creative juices flowing as this is when I visual my future art projects. They both keep my mind healthy and not let me give in to the demons.

20 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

What kind of cow would you be?

Well that was the question my daughter asked us in the car the other day after passing a farmer on the road with his herd of cows. She decided she would be a dairy cow and get milked morning and eveni

Hope for tomorrow

They say its like a black cloud She said it was life or death It's living a fraction of this life in this world But the rest is being lived inside my head She asked me a question but I barely notice I